Tuesday 12 November 2013

Stress.

I have an incredibly bad case of over stressing about nearly everything. I worry about work, friends, family, money, my future, my appearance, my health and about a million other things all at once. Sometimes, it isn't so bad, but when I really think about what I have to do, it completely overwhelms me and I get really panicked. 
I didn't get good grades at AS so I have to do 3 extra exams in June which means I have to start revising earlier and a lot more. Now my UCAS is being processed by my chosen Universities, I'm worrying whether I will get any offers because my predicted grades I have been given aren't particularly good and one of my back ups changed their grades to be slightly higher, meaning my favourite University is actually my lowest grade so I have no back up choice. I've been a given an interview next month so I'm also worrying about that, just incase I'm not good enough for them or if I say the wrong thing. 
I feel like I'm running out of time and like I don't have enough time to fit in all of my homework and coursework while fitting in the books I need to read from my personal statement from my interview and I just feel completely overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to do, all with equal importance so nothing can be prioritised apart from by due date. 
I already spoke of being diabetic and I'm scared that if I end up stressing too much, my blood sugar will start to get out of control and I'll end up with unwanted health problems. I've also gained a bit of weight in the last few months which is also bad because it means my lack of exercise is actually making a difference and I feel like I'm being generally unhealthy but I can't do anything about it because I only have time for homework and the occasional blog post when things get too much. I know I need to change my ways but I just can't seem to fit anything into my schedule. 
I don't get to see my friends outside of college apart from the very occasional party so I feel like I'm drifting away from them which is terrifying as most of them have been my friends since I was 11 so I cant bear to think of losing them because I don't have time to fit them in at the moment. 
I also know that I need a job to fund anywhere I do end up going with people as it will inevitably cost money but I don't have time to get a job and wherever I do apply, they never even interview me, let alone offer me the job as I have no experience whatsoever. It worries me that I'll never be able to get experience so I won't be able to get a job in Summer when I will need to be saving up money for University.
The only things that are keeping me sane at the moment are this blog and talking to a new friend on Tumblr as it's nice to get to know new people (hi Jake, if you're reading). 
I seem to be crying a lot and feeling really moody because of this lately but I don't really know any ways of de-stressing. 
If anyone has any tips for not stressing out completely and having a breakdown, I'd very much appreciate it right now.
Jess xx

6 comments:

  1. I'm feeling pretty much the same, I always freak out over everything. Just try and keep your head above the water for the next few months and the worst will have passed. If that means doing the bare minimum just to keep on top of everything, then so be it, because it's better to have everything kind of covered than leaving something neglected xxxx

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    1. I freak out so much but it seems to be getting worse than usual :/ I hope so, and yeah, I guess, but I don't want my grades going down even less and I have english coursework, my interview, theroy test for driving and 2 books to read by 23rd December; I'll be running on dry by Christmas comes around :( It's hard to do any of that to the minimum if I want to get anywhere :/ I'm trying to keep on top of it all though :) thank you xxxx

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  2. I'm in the same position as you, 2nd year of college and applying to university, and I have never experienced so much stress and pressure! I have a lot of ups and downs and the best thing I can do is just take time out to appreciate that things WILL settle down and get better soon, you just have to battle through it. Everything has a way of working out and in the big scheme of things a lot of the things I worry about really don't matter. As for your friends, try and organise something with them soon as I know mine will always take my mind off of whatever's going on :)

    xx

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    1. It's so scary!! I guess so, thank you! I try to see them as much as my schedule allows but it isn't a great deal sadly :/ Thank you so much xx

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  3. my gosh i totally know how you feel! I'm 22 now but reading this brought back lots of memories. stressing about exams gave me my first (and possibly) only panic attack. i know it's hard to understand now but trust me it's not worth it! firstly; Friends - at the moment you feel terrified right? the thought of drifting away from them is gut wrenching but trust me if they are real friends they will understand and still be there after your exams. i only now speak to 2 people from school but have made many more being at work, the thought of drifting is worse than it actually happening. secondly, your interview - don't worry about trying to impress them, they'll understand that you're nervous and they're not there to judge you or be your best friend they're just there to get to see you in person instead of just on paper. Thirdly - please look after your health! this is the one thing that will be with you throughout life, not your exam grades (i barely remember what exam grades i got) and lastly, if very worse case scenario you don't get into uni then it's OK! Personally i never wanted to go to uni and it was a bit awkward at school because the teachers push you to go to uni and it's great if you do want to go. But if for any reason you don't get the grades then there are other ways around it. I ended up doing an apprenticeship and got into work and i love it! or you can have a gap year and then go to uni or go to college or get a job and work your way up. You're going to be fairly stressed no matter what you try and do but the one thing i would advise is just make lists of what you have to do and prioritise them (it's also so satisfying crossing things off :)) and make sure you have time out to enjoy christmas! x

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    1. I have breakdown during exam times and I've had panic attacks before because I get overstressed so I hope it doesn't get that bad...
      I hope so, me and my group have been close for years now so I should still be friends with them after this! I hope I am anyway.
      Thank you, hopefully it goes well because it's a great course.
      This is true, my diabetes is sometimes a bit hard to control but there are some ways and some people I can talk to to help me, I'll hopefully start exercising more in summer once I have free time.
      I really want to get in to Uni though, for what I want to go into, there isn't really another way into the profession so I really hope I get in!
      I'll try that, thank you!
      I'll enjoy it after the 23rd December when my theory test is over with, I have the Christmas drinks to get me in the mood at the moment though!
      Thank you so much though, this was really helpful and lovely :) xx

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