The last month and a half.

I've now been at University a month and a half now and it's honestly flown by so quickly. 

I have some great friends and I love my course but I still can't shake the feeling that I'm somehow not meant to be here and that I don't deserve to be here because I didn't get the grades I needed. I handed in my first assignment last Thursday and I stayed up quite late Wednesday night finishing it as I just couldn't figure out how to write the essay properly - I found it a real struggle to get back into proper academic work as I haven't written anything since exams in June and I've never written a University level piece of work which terrified me. I've always been a perfectionist and I like being given a push in the right direction so the independent learning is completely new to me and it's difficult as I have to figure out if what I'm doing is right or not by myself. 

I know as I go on, this will get easier and I'll learn the style Uni looks for, just like I did for A level, but I still don't feel good enough. 

I need to work out how to manage my time better, especially as I have this week free of lectures so I have 1 and a half more days to work solidly on my next assignment if I plan it right. I guess it's just part of the learning experience and the gaining of independence and it'll come to me in a bizarre 'Eureka' moment (at least I'm hoping it will...) so for now I'm going to read a lot, make a lot of notes and ask a lot of questions in the hopes that it'll be enough to get me through this year successfully.

Jess xx

I CAN DRIVE!

After starting to drive around last May, I finally took my driving test today...and PASSED FIRST TIME!

I'm so unbelievably happy about it as I was really nervous before I started and actually dreamt about it which I've never done before a test! For my manoeuvre I got to do a 3 point turn which I was really happy about - they're the easiest in my opinion! 

I only got 2 minors which I'm also really pleased with as they were only about hesitations because I was being overly cautious and making sure I was doing everything right! It seemed to fly by and I was actually enjoying myself and getting into it by the time it was over! 

I can't wait to get my own car now and start driving everywhere properly but I have to do pass plus to get my insurance down before my parents are letting me! 

I think that it was definitely the best decision to book my test in the morning so I didn't have to wait around all day for it - I was shaking from nerves at one point! Luckily the examiner was really nice and chatty so I got to just drive like normal eventually! 

Are any of you guys driving? 

Jess xx

Lazy Days and Glitter

I was originally meant to meet up with my friend yesterday before she goes off to Uni in a couple of weeks, but she fell ill so I ended up having a lazy day instead! I spent quite a bit of the day writing new blog posts, reading Herodotus and I painted my nails again!

I have to read Herodotus for one of my A2 Ancient History modules this year so I have to read nearly the whole thing, it's so long and it jumps around a lot but it's interesting and I quite like it, it just takes a long time to get into it properly which sometimes makes it boring.

I got bored of my peachy orange colour on my nails so I changed it to something more Autumny. I used my Jessica nail polish in Marilyn that my parents bought me as a Christmas or Birthday present (I got it quite a while ago, but I've never used it until now!) and it's one of the best I've used, either just as good or even better than my Essie polishes! I love it, it's a metallic pink/purple that looks like a Christmassy colour. It went on really well and most nails only took two coats to make it the exact colour in the bottle but one coat was enough for a slightly lighter colour though. I also decided to try the accent nail trend and I used Rimmel Precious Stones nail polish in Diamond dust. It is really glittery with slightly bigger bits that stand out and look so pretty! I've never tried the accent nail or any other effects like glitter so this is completely new for me and I really like the way it turned out! I'm also glad that I'm not finding bits of glitter everywhere too because then it just gets annoying.

I love how this worked out! 

I also watched Wall-E for the first time since I saw it in the cinema years go! I'd forgotten how much I love that film, even though there it's any talking for the first third or so, it's still so good! It's sad and funny and sweet and I love it so much! Who knew you could get so involved with a relationship between Robots?!

I only have today left before I start back at college tomorrow for my final year. To be honest I'm quite excited but nervous because I know how much work it will take and I know that I'm not very likely to be doing much else apart from work this year to ensure my grades go up. I also have to do my Uni applications so it all feels very final and like my next stage in life is really close. I'm so excited for Uni because it's so different from normal school and that extra independence will be really nice I think! I just need to work for it to make sure I get offers from my chosen Unis and then actually get the grades to go there! I'm just glad that I have really supportive teachers and I love all of my subjects so I'm going to work hard and I know that the help will be there if I need it. 

Jess xx

I will survive!

I had my first driving lesson at Mercedes Benz world even though I'm not 17 today!
I didn't crash or kill anyone!
I was so nervous to begin with, but it was really good once I knew how to do everything. I was in a manual which made everything just that little bit harder, but I got the knack of it in the end which is good! So yeah, I'm super proud of myself that I actually did well!
I'm so excited too, Dan and Phil's radio show is starting in 5 minutes!!! I just know it's going to be amazing! I've got to listen to the rest of radio 1 at the moment and it's so rubbish...it's hurting my ears :( but I don't want to miss the start of Dan and Phil's radio show!!!!!!!!! The things I do for my favourite YouTubers :')
Jess xx