Listen Without Understanding.

I love listening to songs in another language while I'm working. It makes it easier to concentrate as I can't sing along or listen to the lyrics closely so it forms a lovely background hum instead of distracting me from work. 

My favourite foreign language songs currently are by a singer called Luce Tremblay-Gaudette. I absolutely love her and even though I can't understand a single word, the songs are so sweet and happy sounding, they just put me in a good mood. You can listen to her 5 track album here.

Jess xx

Stress.

I have an incredibly bad case of over stressing about nearly everything. I worry about work, friends, family, money, my future, my appearance, my health and about a million other things all at once. Sometimes, it isn't so bad, but when I really think about what I have to do, it completely overwhelms me and I get really panicked. 

I didn't get good grades at AS so I have to do 3 extra exams in June which means I have to start revising earlier and a lot more. Now my UCAS is being processed by my chosen Universities, I'm worrying whether I will get any offers because my predicted grades I have been given aren't particularly good and one of my back ups changed their grades to be slightly higher, meaning my favourite University is actually my lowest grade so I have no back up choice. I've been a given an interview next month so I'm also worrying about that, just incase I'm not good enough for them or if I say the wrong thing. 

I feel like I'm running out of time and like I don't have enough time to fit in all of my homework and coursework while fitting in the books I need to read from my personal statement from my interview and I just feel completely overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to do, all with equal importance so nothing can be prioritised apart from by due date. 

I already spoke of being diabetic and I'm scared that if I end up stressing too much, my blood sugar will start to get out of control and I'll end up with unwanted health problems. I've also gained a bit of weight in the last few months which is also bad because it means my lack of exercise is actually making a difference and I feel like I'm being generally unhealthy but I can't do anything about it because I only have time for homework and the occasional blog post when things get too much. I know I need to change my ways but I just can't seem to fit anything into my schedule. 

I don't get to see my friends outside of college apart from the very occasional party so I feel like I'm drifting away from them which is terrifying as most of them have been my friends since I was 11 so I cant bear to think of losing them because I don't have time to fit them in at the moment. 

I also know that I need a job to fund anywhere I do end up going with people as it will inevitably cost money but I don't have time to get a job and wherever I do apply, they never even interview me, let alone offer me the job as I have no experience whatsoever. It worries me that I'll never be able to get experience so I won't be able to get a job in Summer when I will need to be saving up money for University.

The only things that are keeping me sane at the moment are this blog and talking to a new friend on Tumblr as it's nice to get to know new people (hi Jake, if you're reading). 

I seem to be crying a lot and feeling really moody because of this lately but I don't really know any ways of de-stressing. 

If anyone has any tips for not stressing out completely and having a breakdown, I'd very much appreciate it right now.

Jess xx

University and Make Up.

This has been a rather good weekend!

On Saturday, me and my family went to London for the day but my brother felt ill so we ended up going home quite quickly after arriving. We managed to go to lunch at a restaurant called Hawksmoor before we left though and it was incredible. I had been there for breakfast before I went to my lecture day at UCL and that was also amazing but our lunch was the best I've ever had. It was in the centre of Covent Garden and quite difficult to find but so worth it, the food is so so amazing there. They're a steakhouse and they live up to their name fully. I had a really gorgeous fillet steak which was the best I've ever had! I had a quick look in Kate Spade before we left too but it wasn't as amazing as usual which was sad! My parents said that we can return in a couple of weeks when my brother is better so that will be fun!

Once we got back home, I found a letter from Reading University asking me to visit them for an interview next month! I have slightly lower predicted grades than what they want but because of my experience, they're giving me a chance which I'm really grateful for! It's a great course so I'm quite excited but very nervous as I don't know if I will be good enough!

I'm a type 1 diabetic which means I have to do injections. I have done since I was 10 and I have a severe phobia of needles so they gave me a spring loaded device so all I have to do is push a button and the needle will be automatically released. I used to have breakdowns when I tried to physically inject myself but I was told a few weeks ago that they've stopped making the spring device so I've been having to try physically inject myself so I can incase one of them breaks. I've been panicking about it so mum bribed me with a shopping trip. I've managed to do it a few times now so after Sunday lunch, me and mum went to Reading and went shopping! I got a few great pieces that I've been wanting for ages but I don't get to have them until Christmas so you have to wait and see what I got! I'm really excited though! 

Jess xx

On top of the world

On top of the world by jessica-deacon featuring pink plants

Zara polka dot peter pan collar dress
zara.com

Topshop leather shoes
topshop.com

Cross body
amazon.com

Sterling silver jewelry
dailylook.com

Red jewelry
etsy.com

Uniqlo derby hat
uniqlo.com

Half frame wayfarer sunglasses
shopzerouv.com

Elizabeth Arden lipstick
elizabetharden.com

Wall light
rubylane.com

Wood trunk
kathykuohome.com

Pocket wall clock
kathykuohome.com

Tiered cake plate
amazon.com

Ella Doran serving tray
$41 - amara.com

Royal Albert drinkware
bedbathandbeyond.com

Yankee Candle candles candleholder
$21 - houseoffraser.co.uk

Shabby Chic pink plant
$10 - houseoffraser.co.uk

Ball canning jar
$1.01 - dawanda.com

VINTAGE TYPEWRITER | Used Typewriter | UncommonGoods
uncommongoods.com

Antique Style Brass Cradle Telephone
lampsplus.com

Red Vintage Book Collection
etsy.com

Polaroid Land camera Colour Swinger.
etsy.com

General Life

Everything is going pretty great at the moment. My UCAS has been sent off and I'm so happy! I have 4 emails from the unis to tell me that they've received my application which is so great but so scary! I just have to wait to see if I have offers now!

I went to college early today and got a costa with one of my closer friends which was amazing! We had a really great chat about loads of things and the christmas drinks came out today so that was super exciting! I love the Christmas drinks and food, they always taste so yummy and are absolutely perfect for this time of year. 

I'm loving college at the moment in general, we aren't getting much homework which is nice and the work is interesting and a lot of fun so I want to learn more! I'm doing my english coursework this half term, meaning I have to read and analyse a couple of books as well as the book that we are taught in class. It's so much fun getting to choose the books and question to do for my coursework - as long as it relates to identity, I can do pretty much any question I feel fits my books the best! 

Instead of choosing from the list we were given, I came up with my own question! 

To what extent do the writers of your chosen texts suggest that failure to live in the present inevitably leads to obsession and isolation? 

I think it's such a great question that fits with all three books and I'm so happy me and my teacher managed to verbalise my question after explaining to her what I wanted to say! 

My three books are: Translations by Brian Friel

Jezebel by Irene Nemirovsky 

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

If you read these, or the blurbs, they sound like they would have nothing in common but they're all fantastic for this question! I'm actually really excited to properly start my coursework now!

Sorry I'm not blogging much at the moment, there isn't much to talk about! I'll start posting some reviews of my half term purchases soon though!

Jess xx

Petite Anglaise by Catherine Sanderson - review.

I said in my previous blog that I have many reviews that are in the works - here's the first!

Petite Anglaise - Catherine Sanderson

You may have seen my first thoughts of the book but now I have finished it, I'm sharing my thoughts of the book in its entirety! 

I'm not sure how I feel about this book if I'm perfectly honest. 

On one hand, I really loved the writing style and descriptions, it made me want to visit Paris even more than I did already! On the other hand however, I hated the characters. They irritated me to no end and I only kept reading because I wanted to see how it ended (and Catherine's writing style was really easy to read which made it a hard book to put down ironically...) and if any of them had a pivotal moment where they suddenly became likeable and nice people. 

I also liked how realistic it was but obviously being a memoir it was going to be. I felt like it was purely an escape for the author to brag about her sudden internet fame and her failing love life. 

Catherine seemed to revolve her life around the men she was involved with at the time and her success as a blogger which, for me, gave her an inhuman feel, as we find out less about the actual person, and more about the blogger. She seems to be under the impression that blogs are places that people hide behind as a shield for their true selves which annoyed me as I know plenty of people who use blogging to enhance their personality and become more confident in themselves - I know I have. 

I think throughout the book, Catherine comes across as self-centred and selfish, making her very unlikeable and in turn, make the reader unsympathetic towards her. You end up feeling sorry for her daughter as Catherine seems to not realise the effects that her actions will have on her once she is older. She seems to naively think that balancing a booming social life and raising a small child is possible and simple when it obviously isn't, especially when she is a single mother with no one to look after her daughter properly. 

Overall, while the writing style was lovely, Catherine was far too irritating and the book drips with self-deprecating rubbish as an attempt to justify her actions.

After I finished the book, I went on to her actual blog and found her quite funny and a seemingly lovely person. The book definitely shows that some people aren't who they make themselves out to be sometimes.

The bottom line is that I'm happy to have only spent 20p on it as I would have been highly disappointed if I had spent the original £12.99.

Jess xx

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go...

It feels odd that I'm going back to college tomorrow after only getting back from my holiday yesterday. It also feels odd blogging again as I've been blog free for the last week! I also have no posts in my drafts or scheduled posts so I have no ideas to work off; the only posts that I have lined up are reviews/showing freebies I've acquired over the last few weeks or so which can get a tad boring. You'll have to bear with me over the next week as I try and balance college work and writing new posts again!

The trip to Norfolk me and my family went on this week was a much-needed break as I haven't been on a family holiday for two summers! It was nice to relax and do minimal homework but that means that I've had to do lots today to catch up which isn't so nice! 

We spent a lot of time at the beach as we couldn't really anywhere with the dog and the rest of the time was either at home or in the nearby town. Even though we did next to nothing, it was a great holiday as I got to spend time with my family and do nothing without worrying about anything.

I actually really like this picture of me!

The beach we spend each morning walking Snoopy on apparently had a Humpback whale just off shore a few days in a row which was really exciting! We didn't see it but it was funny when there were lots of people with their binoculars and cameras crowding on the dunes to hopefully get a glimpse of it! 

After a three hour car journey back home, I got a message from one of my secondary school friends asking if I wanted to go to see some fireworks with her and another friend. We went and it was amazing. I haven't been to a fireworks display for quite a long time so it was exciting to wrap up and catch up with a couple of really good friends while watching really pretty fireworks! It really felt like what I imagine autumn to be like which made me super happy!

I love fireworks, they're so pretty!

Sadly, I've had to do lots of homework today due in this week so it's been quite boring but I've been able to stay in my pyjamas all day which is always a nice bonus!

I've also found out that me and my family are going to London next weekend which is always really exciting - I'm planning on dragging them to the new J. Crew store that opens on Regent's Street on Friday, I'm super excited - I'll update more when I've actually gone!

Jess xx