I have an incredibly bad case of over stressing about nearly everything. I worry about work, friends, family, money, my future, my appearance, my health and about a million other things all at once. Sometimes, it isn't so bad, but when I really think about what I have to do, it completely overwhelms me and I get really panicked.
I didn't get good grades at AS so I have to do 3 extra exams in June which means I have to start revising earlier and a lot more. Now my UCAS is being processed by my chosen Universities, I'm worrying whether I will get any offers because my predicted grades I have been given aren't particularly good and one of my back ups changed their grades to be slightly higher, meaning my favourite University is actually my lowest grade so I have no back up choice. I've been a given an interview next month so I'm also worrying about that, just incase I'm not good enough for them or if I say the wrong thing.
I feel like I'm running out of time and like I don't have enough time to fit in all of my homework and coursework while fitting in the books I need to read from my personal statement from my interview and I just feel completely overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to do, all with equal importance so nothing can be prioritised apart from by due date.
I already spoke of being diabetic and I'm scared that if I end up stressing too much, my blood sugar will start to get out of control and I'll end up with unwanted health problems. I've also gained a bit of weight in the last few months which is also bad because it means my lack of exercise is actually making a difference and I feel like I'm being generally unhealthy but I can't do anything about it because I only have time for homework and the occasional blog post when things get too much. I know I need to change my ways but I just can't seem to fit anything into my schedule.
I don't get to see my friends outside of college apart from the very occasional party so I feel like I'm drifting away from them which is terrifying as most of them have been my friends since I was 11 so I cant bear to think of losing them because I don't have time to fit them in at the moment.
I also know that I need a job to fund anywhere I do end up going with people as it will inevitably cost money but I don't have time to get a job and wherever I do apply, they never even interview me, let alone offer me the job as I have no experience whatsoever. It worries me that I'll never be able to get experience so I won't be able to get a job in Summer when I will need to be saving up money for University.
The only things that are keeping me sane at the moment are this blog and talking to a new friend on Tumblr as it's nice to get to know new people (hi Jake, if you're reading).
I seem to be crying a lot and feeling really moody because of this lately but I don't really know any ways of de-stressing.
If anyone has any tips for not stressing out completely and having a breakdown, I'd very much appreciate it right now.
Jess xx
